explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize