a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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