So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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