WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
