I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
