Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
