i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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