I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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