Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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