Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
