just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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