U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
