Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
