Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
