I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
