she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
