I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
