This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
