I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Verdict: uncircumcised.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
