are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
