If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
