how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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