I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
