that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
