why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize