please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
