i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
