Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
