I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
