Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Im part way to drunk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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