I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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