wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
