my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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