When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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