She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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