dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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