I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize