then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
