I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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