Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
