Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im six kinds of drunk right now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
