why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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