Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Quick, to the slutcave!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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