Christians are straight up FREAKS
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Randomize
