I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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