Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
