worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
