My brain says no but my pants say off.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize