last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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