eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
