garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
