i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
