dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize