He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
