i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
