If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
