Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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