I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish my penis had an off switch
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
