Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
