I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
