I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
