I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My dick has a subreddit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
