My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
