Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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