One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
