I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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