I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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